Reading the stuff I talked about in Monday’s post has got me thinking about the place that Video Games have in my life right now, especially in relation to everything else. Being brutally honest with myself, I’m realising just how much of my daily life is being consumed by games at the moment – and I’m not happy with it, in fact I’m slightly disappointed in myself. I don’t think I’m addicted (yet), but the fact that I spend more of my waking hours (on days when I’m home, which is all pretty much all but Fridays and Sundays these days) playing games is worrying to me, especially given everything I’ve been giving up to play.
I used to spend time writing, either here or for college. I even wrote poetry when the mood struck me, and had been contemplating sitting down and writing a book at the beginning of this year. I used to spend time reading books, and now I’ve got a mounting backlog of books that I have been given that I still haven’t taken the time and effort to read. I used to spend time sitting and thinking of deep questions, contemplating the meaning and purpose of the things around me, and the things that I had been reading and experiencing. I was meant to be using the past 6 months to find myself meaningful employment, and while I have done some looking online for work, and have applied for a course at the local TAFE for next semester, I haven’t done nearly as much as I could have, mostly because it’s easier to sit and play games than to actively look for the work that I desperately want and need. Most importantly, I used to spend time building my relationship with God, praying and seeking Him through His word. All of these things have taken a back seat in my life over the past 6 months or so, and I’ve come to regret that over this week.
Regrets without actions are fruitless however, so the real question is what I’m going to do about this. The obvious answer is to step back from games. Whether this turns into completely giving up games until my life, and more importantly my relationship with God, is back in some kind of order (at least, as much as has ever been possible for me), or a less serious scaling back, I’m not sure at the moment. At the very least, I need to stop immediately turning the computer on after I wake up (seriously, even before I’ve eaten), and staying on it until I head to bed (which has been getting later and later the past month or so), and instead use the time in the mornings and evenings to get back into the habit of spending time with God, and I need to spend more time during the day trying to find myself some work.
I want to ask all of the people who read this that either live with me, or are friends with me on Steam (through which I play most of my games) to keep me to this. At the moment, I don’t want to spend another day from the moment I wake up till the moment I fall asleep either playing, or thinking about playing, games. So if you see me playing something, check up on me, ask me how I’m going with my resolutions here. If I’ve been there for a while, keep pestering me until I stop playing. I don’t think I’ll be able to do this without a community supporting me, so I would ask all of you to be the community I need right now. Anyone who does help me with this over the next few weeks/months, I want to thank you in advance.