Who Am I?

Before I start this week’s post, I’d like to let you all know that I’m working on making the archives friendlier to browse – mostly putting things in categories (which I probably should have done when I started this 2 years ago…oh well). Now returning you to your regularly scheduled blog post…..

The question ‘Who Am I?’ is one that I think everyone has to struggle with at some point (more likely than not fairly young). I know when I was struggling with this question – which I have done several times for the past 5 years or so – it didn’t cut it to simply say that I am Benjamin Larkin – I needed to (re)discover something deeper about myself, whether I liked what I found or not. A lot of what I consider to be who I am is bound up in my personal history – which I’m going to talk about a bit more in this post* – and in my interests and personality, as well as the people who are a part of my life. So Who am I? Well, keep reading, and you may find some answers to your question.

Starting simply, I am Ben Larkin – a 20 year old Bible College Graduate. I play Video Games, read Science Fiction and Fantasy Novels, watch Sketch Comedy on the Internet, and write a Blog – to put it otherwise I am a nerd/geek. Not the arch-typical picture of nerds/geeks though – there are entire volumes written about what needs to be done to maintain nerd credibility^ that I haven’t followed or achieved everything on – nor the ‘romanticised’ version of them that seems to exist in popular culture at the moment. In saying that I play video games, I also imply that I carry a number of different character names and screen names with me as part of my life experiences. Over the years that I have played games, I’ve gone by several different pseudonyms – many of which describe my personality and traits – including no-all (my original screen name – it was spoken to me by a friend as a reflection of my incredibly large amount of random knowledge), and Fr33Lanc3r (my chosen screen name, which I have been using for nearly 10 years now, and has had several variants over those years – currently it’s Fr33Lanc3r.007).

Personality wise, I’m an intelligent, slightly cynical, slightly hard to get along with – although I can be friendly when I have a mind to – have a warped sense of humor – no-one else seems to find what I find funny amusing (it’s mostly puns and personal in-jokes) – and am not generally good at organization or working out how to move from the problem to the solution. I have issues with setting my own life direction and goals – I can be too ambitious at times, and I have trouble coping when I fail to meet those ambitions – and I often want every step to be assured before I begin any sort of change in direction (which meant I was completely terrified both times when I absolutely knew I had to do something big – apply for College and register for an Electrical Apprenticeship – but had no idea how to go about either of them – where to apply, what course to undertake, etc. God can be funny like that.) Yet I have no issues being impulsive with smaller things – starting this blog was a spur of the moment decision; I have a tendency to buy first, ask questions later when looking at games or DVDs at the shops – often to my own detriment. I often speak before I think – an artifact of the group of friends that I had in High School – yet when I’m explaining something I have been (or am at that moment) seriously thinking about, I tend to stumble over my words as new ideas and concepts come to mind faster than I can say them.

So I’m now looking at the wordcount on this post, and I’m figuring that you don’t want to read more than 800 words on a blog post (even 800 might be too much)……I think I’ll write the rest up in next weeks post……that way I don’t need to cut a lot of what I want to say….see you next week.

*I may tell my story in more detail at some point in the future, I figure I’m turning 21 this May, and that’s a milestone that could launch into an Autoblography (to steal a term from someone else who wrote out part of his life story on his blog), so stay tuned…

^I know Wikihow articles of this nature are often written for humor (and as a reflection on the popular culture views a particular subculture or group of people) rather than as an attempt to actually explain the ins and outs of the topic at hand, but you get my drift.


One response to “Who Am I?

  1. Pingback: An R18+ Rating for Video Games in Australia? | Freelancing for the Kingdom

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